Thursday 12 March 2015

Dating Tips Thursday: "First Impression & Be Your Own Doctor, Don't Play To Your Weakness".

Oshey, Baddest!!! As promised by my able and amiable CEO at the W-Beats Headquarters, he is here with the very first dating tip, so all our brothers in different zones behold your RESURRECTION has come.Here we go!!!

                           First impression
First impression they say lasts longer, and it is very important to get this part right, as this is where you hit her on the greatest TURN ON or TURN OFF. You would aswell pardon me to liken it to a job interview and then proceed by sub dividing it’s steps into what I call B.A.C.A.N

*B stands for Boldness.

*A stands for Appearance.

*C stands for Cliché expression.

*A stands for Accent and Grammar.

*N stands for Nasty Things.

**APPEARANCE: Yes brothers, appearance is the very first step in trying to date a girl, you know nah, no girl wants to date a rough guy. 


Ok, let us dress ourselves up and I would prefer you wear a round neck top (any color), a jean (blue or black), NO KNICKER please! 

Avoid the use of excessive bling blings (chains) as we popularly call it, they put girls off immediately, infact don’t use it at all if it is possible, use a very nice wristwatch, I would prefer a leather wristwatch, chain wristwatches mostly depicts the wrong message. 

Having done all these, palm slippers or a light sneaker is the best. We don’t have to remind ourselves that the clothes must be ironed, LoL.

Now brothers’ abeg, afro comb is #150 only, it won’t cost you anything to comb your hair, be the finest guy in the world, once your hair is rough; you’ve turned the girl off. I would go against caps (any type) let her see your hairstyle. Once all these basic principles are obeyed, congratulations brother Level 1 stage 1 is gone.

**ACCENT and GRAMMAR: Please even if your grandfather is related to BILL CLINTON, it won’t still change the fact that you are a Nigerian, use your accent, and stop forming British accent or Korean accent because you feel she’s a fan of Korean movies, MTCHEW.

Don’t get me wrong, it is cute when you have an accent, but if you don’t have, don’t push it, they love the natural you better.

Avoid the use of big grammars, this part is irritating, they would vomit if they have the opportunity, brother we know your uncle is WOLE SOYINKA’s cousin, but please speak simple English, BIKO!!! 

**BOLDNESS: I use to think girls would love to date a shy boy because they believe they would be able to control them, but trust me when I say it took me time to discover they only see the act of being shy as cute and nothing more, they want a MAN and not a boy.

They want you to be able to stand up to anything, confront situations as a man, so even if it means smoking or drinking the first time you want to meet a girl, be BOLD (even the bible said “be strong and courageous for your God will be with you wherever you go”) let her have the feeling that you are man enough, PLEASE DON’T DRINK OR SMOKE O!!!

Over time, it has been proven that shy boys always end up being zoned, so as much as possible for the very first time, be composed and let the conversation be friendly enough. Be your own doctor, don’t play to your weakness, do things, say things that will make you comfortable. 

**CLICHÉ EXPRESSIONS: Expressions like “love at first sight” “mother of my kids” “the bread in my butter” “the sugar in my tea” “the only anatomy textbook I read” and the most recent one “the oxygen that I breathe” chai!!! Brothers we are in the 21st century, stop treating these girls like they too didn’t evolve haba! When you use all these expressions, you make some of them cry out of pity for you. Girls love cute and sweet expressions, but those ones are cliché. 

In my opinion all these expressions are not needed on a first time, do you agree? They see you as random boys when you use those expressions, thus ruining your chances with her, hence, she puts you in the category “ALL BOYS ARE THE SAME” 

**NASTY THINGS: There is nothing much to say under this heading. It is just simple human reasoning, you are meeting a girl for the first time and you are forming Bruce Lee of kisses and James Bond of romance.

I pity your destiny, GOD will help you, the girl will be Angelia Jolie of slaps and Halle Berry of insults, your brain will enter autocorrect immediately.

So do you now know why I likened it to a job interview initially? Of course you have to be bold during your job interview, you can’t be nasty, you can’t be forming English during the interview and you obviously have to look presentable. 

So brothers let’s remember B.A.C.A.N when going for your next job interview or on your first time with a girl not necessarily date with a girl. 

                                                         #Oshamo

8 comments:

  1. Sancho , Abeg who be dis ur Ceo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in Mad love doctor like dis, Abeg na student?

      Delete
  2. Uhnn...Oshe Love practitioner toh Bad.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Uhn uhn....Na so

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey!

    Here is my new FREE Dating site:

    www.matescity.com

    Hope you like it!

    ReplyDelete